Consent is the culture
Every yes is freely chosen
Consent is the ground the entire evening stands on. It is ongoing, spoken as easily as it is heard, and never taken for granted. We hold to a simple, complete standard — five things a yes must be:
- Freely given
- Offered without pressure, obligation, or the weight of the room. A yes secured by persistence is not a yes.
- Fully informed
- You know what is being asked before you answer it. Nothing is assumed on your behalf.
- Enthusiastic
- We look for the clear yes, not the absence of a no. Ambivalence is a no, for now.
- Specific
- Consent is to this, with this person, in this moment. It does not extend by inference to anything else.
- Revocable
- It can be withdrawn at any point, without reason or apology, and the moment ends there.
A safeword or a clear signal is honored the instant it is given, by anyone, with no explanation owed. To pause is always welcome. To step back is never held against you.
If a boundary is crossed
A way to be heard
If a boundary is breached — yours or someone else’s — you are meant to tell someone, and someone will act on it. This is not a complaint box. It is a named responsibility.
- Who to findEvery gathering has Stewards present — the members charged with keeping the Court’s order and the Code. They are identified to you when you arrive, and you may speak to any of them at any moment, discreetly.
- What happens nextA Steward hears you privately, sees to your immediate comfort and safety first, and takes action the same evening where needed — which may include asking a member to leave. Every report is reviewed afterward by the Presiding Head against the Code, not the standing of the people involved.
- What you are owedDiscretion, to be believed, and to be told what was done. Raising a concern in good faith never counts against you.
Discretion, made mutual
Phones away, no photography
Anonymity is a gift the room gives everyone in it. Phones stay away inside a gathering, and nothing is photographed, filmed, or recorded — no exceptions, however fond the impulse. What you witness here is yours to remember, never to capture.
A camera raised is a trust broken. Recording another member ends your evening at once and your place in the Court permanently. We protect this norm because it is the reason the room can be what it is.
The line that does not move
Adults only, lawful always
Membership and attendance are for adults, verified at the door. Anything involving a minor is met with zero tolerance: it ends membership immediately and is reported to the authorities. The same holds for coercion, non-consensual conduct, and anything unlawful. There is no standing, no history, and no discretion that buys an exception to this.
How it is kept
A code with people behind it
The Code means something because it is accepted before admission, logged, and enforced by named roles. Stewards keep it in the room. The Presiding Head reviews what is raised and decides what follows, measured against the Code alone.
Enforcement is proportionate and plain: a quiet word, a member asked to step away for the evening, or removal from the Court entirely. We would always rather prevent than penalize — but a boundary that carries no consequence is only a suggestion, and the Court does not deal in suggestions where safety is concerned.
To be received is to accept the Code, in full, on behalf of everyone who shares the room with you.